At this very moment I'm just bored. I have to go to the gym for a quick session, the run to the office of the company that was supposed to hire me, the go home to drop stuff off (or maybe not - I might not bother with that) - I'll be extremely busy. yet I tetchy at the moment. I still don't know people, and don't want to stay at the flat because there's nowt much to do.
I just want to get cleared for this job, to start work ASAP,move to the new flat, start volunteering, get my life sorted out and move on. I should probably relish this time that I have off, but in reality, sitting about is not nice. Even though I have this new job pretty much solved, and another one 'at the backburner', I feel anxious. Once I start, it'll all be good. Learning the ropes to a new job, especially a shift job, will do me good and keep me occupied.. Sure, the first weeks' are gonna be murder, with me having to travel to-and-from work a good few hours - that on top of a 12 hour shift. But once I move nearer and can start walking to work.
I don't know... I miss the daily grind of living in Scotland. Going to work, bitching about it in the pub later on, fighting with the guys I worked with, chatting to the flatmates.. I'm not all hysterical about it, but I feel like I don't know who I am anymore. I feel different, maybe because of the stuff I'm planning to do while I'm here..a bit unsure,yet at the same time very confident. In the past few years, after graduation and holding down jobs, paying the bills, making hard decisions about leaving place and people behind, I feel like I've grown up quite a lot. I feel different, yet at the moment I feel like I'm more that a little bit confused about things. What the hell is supposed to happen now?