Johanna S. (johannas) wrote,
Johanna S.

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The night darkens..

The big end-of-the festival- fireworks are about to light up the sky in Edinburgh. All is good in the world - I've seen my 'Emmerdale', I have a flat, the Inland Revenue has told me they owe me quite an amount of money, I have a fencing class booked in Liverpool, my supervisor is off and my manager is on holiday and won't be harrassing us for 1,5 is good and serene.

But on this wine-dark night, it's also melancholy. I just had a e-mail from someone who wrote about her shell, her need to fall madly in love. And I realized that time has arrived for me, too. I've avoided tose feelings for over a year after an unrequited love that went completely sour and made me hang my head in shame for months. But now, now I remember my times as a student, when there was always something romantic going on, someone to make me smile around.

Maybe, in these past years I've spent here in Scotland, I have spent too much time thinking about how to be a responsible adult - work, pay the bills etc - and haven't thought much about the fun, yet hard, side of adulthood. A responsible solid relationship.

maybe it's time to grow up in that way, too.
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