Johanna S. (johannas) wrote,
Johanna S.

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Over and out!

Another year coming to an end.

Haven’t updated the blog for a while – work, with its 13 hour shifts and insane commuting, has made that a downright impossibility. But here I am, on a holiday for another 1,5 weeks. Thanks God for that.

Not completely sure about what I think about work. Security was fine for me when I graduated, but returning to it hasn’t been easy. I feel like I’m finally ready for a job that demands more dedication and more brainwork. Yeah, I’m still lined up for the police next year (April the earliest?), but keep thinking, ‘should I get a ‘proper’ job in the mean time?’.
The boss has lined up a site for me where I’d only work two shifts, 07.00-15.00 or 15.00-23.00. That’d give me plenty of time to go to the gym, to have a life outside the job. Yeah, the money will not be as good as before, but I have to get my work-life balance right – and stop having to commute to work in a cigarette-smoke filled car (a hell of a lot of the supervisors smoke, which does my head in, having stopped smoking quite a while back myself).

Anyway, 2006 looms ahead. Lots of changes ahead.
Just got a text from one of my old friends saying that she’ll have a c-section on the 3rd, finally becoming a mother. Good for her, but most certainly not something for me. I just had a family dinner where my aunt made a comment that ‘you never know, you might have a baby next year’. I nearly choked on my coffee. When I said that bloody never going to happen, my cousin made a comment that ‘what, you can’t find a suitable father candidate?’. Get real – just because she pops them out like there’s no tomorrow….
That’s what bugs me. The assumption that because you’re a female, you just want to breed like a rabbit. Come on. Who knows, one might be infertile? It’s so bloody simple for people who want kids, can have kids and have kids. Like my aforementioned friend, she’s been told she won’t have kids, had IVF, miscarried a few times, before the IVF finally working, and she’s only 26. Life, for some of us, isn’t simple.

Myself, well, work obviously comes first. I still haven’t told anyone in my family aside my parents that I have passed the police entry examinations. If I’d told the rest of my relatives that I have a 2 year probationary period to deal with after getting in, they might realize that for me, a family isn’t something that I think about. Besides, when I was in the army I promised my old sarge that I wouldn’t have kids before turning 30. That’s the promise I’ll keep. In all fairness, after watching ‘Supernanny’ I doubt I’ll ever want kids, anyway…

See, once again, kid-related whinings. Damn, I’m going to have to stop going to any places where I’m likely to see my relatives.

2006. I’ve no real idea on what’ll happen in my life. I’ll start the year off with putting clear rules to the company about what I’ll do, work-wise. If I get that ‘short-shift site’ I’ll be happy. That’ll tie me over for a short while, for a few months anyway. Give me time to go to the gym and to sort my priorities out. Find out about what the hell is going on.

The one thing I’ll definitely try to do is to finally use any skills I’ve gotten from business college in my volunteering. That, is I have to find a new job, I’m going to be able to transfer those experiences as ‘transferable skills’. I quite fancy also getting involved in some media stuff. Like doing an unpaid traineeship in a radio, just watching how the news-side gathers information (typical politics graduate). I’d love to work in a court again, though – not as a custody officer, though!
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