Johanna S. (johannas) wrote,
Johanna S.
johannas

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The night darkens..

The big end-of-the festival- fireworks are about to light up the sky in Edinburgh. All is good in the world - I've seen my 'Emmerdale', I have a flat, the Inland Revenue has told me they owe me quite an amount of money, I have a fencing class booked in Liverpool, my supervisor is off and my manager is on holiday and won't be harrassing us for 1,5 weeks...life is good and serene.

But on this wine-dark night, it's also melancholy. I just had a e-mail from someone who wrote about her shell, her need to fall madly in love. And I realized that time has arrived for me, too. I've avoided tose feelings for over a year after an unrequited love that went completely sour and made me hang my head in shame for months. But now, now I remember my times as a student, when there was always something romantic going on, someone to make me smile around.

Maybe, in these past years I've spent here in Scotland, I have spent too much time thinking about how to be a responsible adult - work, pay the bills etc - and haven't thought much about the fun, yet hard, side of adulthood. A responsible solid relationship.

maybe it's time to grow up in that way, too.
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